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How to reconnect with your spouse after you have kids

5 Easy Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner After You Have Kids

Hello Mamas,

A few weeks back we shared with you 5 Ways to Take Care Of Yourself through a series of challenges. Today we would like to do the same with your love life.

We know it’s hard (To say the least) to keep up with everything and usually what gets left behind or a bit unattended is our relationship with our partner. Hey we are not accusing nor judging anyone here (We are the first to admit that our relationships with our respective partners are not being taken care of)

So to push ourselves and you to do better in this essential part of our lives we have come up with 5 challenges to gently push you to do something about it.

Let’s be honest… Wouldn’t you love a bit more attention and consideration from your spouse? So why not be the one to offer it in the first place? And maybe once your spouse/partner sees your efforts he will take a similar step towards you. Relationships are made of that. Give and take is an essential part of it and so too is communication.

Communication is key in a relationship and somehow when you have children you misplace that important part of your love life. We know and understand that it’s difficult with all there is to do on any given day and the to-do-lists never end, but if you want your relationship to work you have to work at it.

 

5 Ways To Reconnect With your Partner after Kids

So these challenges will help you do the following:

Stop Competing and Make each other Feel Loved and Appreciated

We all need to feel appreciated and small gestures are the quickest and easiest ways to do exactly that. When was the last time you showed your partner that you care for him? How was your relationship before the baby/ies came along? Was he used to getting all of your attention? Do you ever feel as if you are constantly competing with him to see who’s the best parent? Our first challenge will help you think about all these questions and provide you with an easy way to answer them.

Experience Something New together

Oh the magical Date Night. If you ask any expert the answer you’ll get is that in order for your relationship to work you Must make time for it. Well we happen to agree with them but with a slightly different perspective.  Why not Morning Breakfast, Sunday Brunch or Afternoon Coffee? What we mean is that it doesn’t have to be a date night in the exact sense of the words, but what we absolutely agree on is that you MUST find some time to dedicate to HIM and him alone. The second challenge will offer you our way to see Date Night.

Rediscover each Other

When was the last time you held your spouse’s hand? Or the last time you cuddled with him. That you kissed him, caressed or showed him in ways other than words what you feel for him? We are not talking about your intimate time with him. We are talking about simple gestures that you can do in front of your kids. Do something to show him that he is on your mind even when you’re busy taking care of the little ones. Show him that he matters and he’s not always at the very end of your list. With the third challenge you will  enjoy the pleasure of small gestures and your little ones will get a giggle out of it too.

Reignite the Love

Flirting! I personally find this a challenge on its own but wouldn’t you love it if he flirted with you the way he did before the kids? Think about what you used to say to each other. Find that word, compliment, little something whispered in each other’s ears and share it again with him. You’ll be surprised on the results. This challenge will help you recharge your love for each other.

Pleasure each Other

Stop your dirty mind! I know what you’re thinking, and this challenge is not about that! Although a healthy sex life is absolutely awesome it is not our place to push you into it! We just want to provide you with the tools to reconnect with your partner, and that should help you both find the balance in your sex life, but it is not our place to challenge you to it. Love making is not a challenge to be crossed off, it should be the result of two people loving each other. So having said that we would love to offer a suggestion through this last challenge that could lead to it but only if that’s where you would like to take it.

So if you feel you want to give it a try just let us know through the form below and start the “All About You 2 Challenge”

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All About You 2 Challenge

All_about_you_2

We know you're super busy with the kids, but we also know how that can affect your relationship with your partner.

With these 5 fun and easy challenges we want to help you spice up your couple's life a bit or a lot...

Only one way to find out!

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59 comments

    1. Thank you Alan. We appreciate the compliment. Yes the kids could be a very easy distraction from your personal relationship with your partner and that’s why we feel communication is key. You need to put the effort and talk talk talk

  1. This is so important!!! We found ourselves doing more day dates because it was easier to find people to watch our kids. If we timed it just right, we’d get home just in time to put them to bed and then we could relax.

    1. That is something I have a hard time with because there are very few people I trust around my kids when I’m not around. I guess it will get better with time hahaha

  2. Having family near by (free child care) will be a huge help for us in reconnecting! We won’t have a problem finding someone to watch and give us a break

  3. This is so so so important. Did I say it’s so important?! We have struggled with this in our marriage to carve out the time for each other. It’s so hard, but nobody said marriage and babies were easy! Our youngest is now 11, so we have more time, but in years past, this was hard. Love this!!

  4. This is really great. These are wonderful tips and so true. We have 7 kids and are often doing all of these. It’s important and a must if you want the relationship to last and be happy.

    1. It’s incredible. I love to hear about couples with many children being able to be strong and happy together. Thank you!

  5. I agree that communication is key in a marriage. I have noticed that after having kids it is a little tougher on our relationship but we always find a way to overcome the obstacles we are thrown

  6. It’s so easy to have all of the focus on the kids when they arrive, so this is a great reminder to focus on the spouse. I love that you included discovering something new together. That’s one thing we try to do a lot as a family and it’s when we have most of our quality time.

    1. In this case then you would love the challenges. I call them challenges because it’s a challenge to find the time but I think they’re actually fun

  7. This is such a good post and would totally work for just any relationship at any point really. We sometimes get a bit meh because we work long hours every day so might pick up some of these & put them to use:) x

  8. Reconnecting with your partner is so important. My husband and I try to have date night at least once a month. It is so good for us to just have time alone without the boys.

  9. This can be really really hard. Most of the time I am so tired at the end of the day, my relationship with my husband doesn’t get the attention it deserves.

  10. What a great message! I know a lot of women who forget to be their husband’s friend and lover after kids. It ruins the marriage. I wish more of them had access to your post beforehand!

  11. These are great tips and ideas. I love how you encourage keeping things fresh by learning something new together. Keeping adventure in life helps keep joy and excitement in life!

    1. Thank you so much Laura. I loved putting together this list and I went in even more depth in the challenges I provided for each idea.

  12. For me marriage is sacred. A promise between a man and a woman must be everlasting. And this post of yours is something to be treasured. It is an additional idea for a couple to stay together no matter what. It is about time to communicate as much as possible.

  13. These are all great. I really agree with the fact that date night does not have to be at night. We tend to enjoy morning brunch more than dinner. I also agree that flirting and just touch, holding hands, little kisses and so on go a LONG way. Great reminder.

  14. This is perfect for Valentines Day. I always think that we have to take a trip and spend thousands of dollars. I love these ideas though- they are great!

  15. Making time is the hardest part – we are constantly on the go with three little ones and activities. We are making a conscious decision to step back now, and rebuild time together.

    1. It’s so nice to hear that many moms are trying to make time for it, if they’re are not doing it already. Thanks for sharing

  16. This is such a great post. Really great tips too. I plan to share with a fee of my friends who are in the situation. Your partner always comes first then the kids. Thanks for sharing.

  17. I hear all the time kids can change a relationship. It can put an accidental strain on a relationship but relationship are WORK so these tips are perfect to make sure not to neglect your spouse. Easier said than done but its neccessary.

  18. My husband and I have struggled with this for four years, or since my oldest was born. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the kids we neglect our relationship. I love this advice – especially not competing with each other!

    1. Thank you. We always love to hear that our advice is useful to others. We hope you take the challenge as well as it offers even more details. Plus it’s fun

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